


prompt: Things you said I wish you hadn't

by depugnare



Series: Black Sails Tumblr Drabbles [23]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, this is during season 4 i guess, well....the plot is but this scene isn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 00:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18062864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depugnare/pseuds/depugnare
Summary: “I wish you hadn’t told me about your grief sometimes,” Silver says, voice going softer. “That I did not feel the need to help you hold it so you don’t kill yourself with it.”“Then why don’t you let it?” Flint bites out, glaring at him.“Because you are my friend,” Silver says fiercely.





	prompt: Things you said I wish you hadn't

It couldn’t be said that they weren’t cruel men. Silver knew how to tear a man down just as well as he could inspire one. Flint had a tendency to lash out and say the worst possible thing in a moment of anger.

They are, perhaps, worse with each other than others.

Grate against each other like steel against stone.

“You always think about yourself!” Silver snarls, pointing an accusing finger at Flint. “Never thinking about making everything and everyone around you into collateral! Like I’m just something else to carry your anger. Something else for it to kill.”

Flint reels back like he’s been struck. Leans heavily against the wall and looks at Silver with wide eyes. For once, they’re away from everyone. Tucked away somewhere dark and quiet, out of sight of the hungry, devoted gaze the men give Silver these days.

“How can you say that?” Flint asks, voice raw. 

“Because you just let it out,” Silver says, and he looks so unhinged that Flint isn’t sure if this is for the remark he’d made earlier today or because of everything else. “You just let it eat at everything until people are either swept up in it or are killed by it and every time I find myself lost in your emotions I feel like you’ve taken another piece of me.”

Flint thinks back to what Silver told him on the cliffs. That awful, trembling quality to his voice when he’d begged Flint to stop asking after his past. Closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall.

“I wish you hadn’t told me about your grief sometimes,” Silver says, voice going softer. “That I did not feel the need to help you hold it so you don’t kill  _yourself_ with it.”

“Then why don’t you let it?” Flint bites out, glaring at him.

“Because you are my friend,” Silver says fiercely. 

Flint’s finger twitch, wanting to tear something apart. Wanting to rip himself to pieces and finally become what his grief has been trying to turn him into for years.

Instead he finds himself gathered into Silver’s arms and Flint can hardly breathe as Silver cups the back of his head and tucks his face against his throat. Flint breathes in the warm scent of his skin and lets out a shuddering breath.

It’s been so long since someone touched him with such tenderness. Longer still since he’d been held by another man. The feel of Silver’s hand between his shoulderblades, sturdy and warm, makes his heart flutter. Makes him melt into him, seeking comfort.

“When was the last time anybody told you to  _stop_?” Silver asks, voice raw. “I have stood aside too long and I’m sorry for that.”

It’s so similar to what Miranda had said all those months ago and it makes Flint cling to Silver’s shirt, desperately trying to keep himself under control.

“I encouraged you to follow me into the dark, and I’m sorry for that,” Flint whispers. “I wish…I wish you hadn’t said how good it feels. I thought i meant that you’d found anger like mine. That you would understand.”

“I understand,” Silver says, and Flint closes his eyes at the feeling of Silver’s lips brushing against his cheek. “I do. But I will not let you destroy yourself with it, because that would destroy me.”

“Still worried you’ll end up like everyone else?” Flint says, bitterness creeping back into his voice.

“Of course I am,” Silver says. “I love you.”

Flint stiffens in his arms and he pulls back to look at Silver’s face and Silver looks like he can’t quite believe he said that. Then they’re clutching at each other’s faces, fighting to be the first to kiss each other. Crash together with such force that Silver stumbles back, back hitting the wall as Flint kisses him.

“Say it again,” Flint begs when he pulls back just enough to breathe. “Say it again.”

“I love you,” Silver says, lips brushing against Flint’s. “You bastard, I love you.”

Flint huffs and leans forward to kiss him again.

“I love you too,” he murmurs softly, resting their foreheads together. Closes his eyes in bliss at the feel of Silver’s arms sliding around his waist to keep him close.

“Every time I see you destroy yourself more for this war, that is a wound inflicted on me,” Silver says softly. “Every time you ask me to follow you into the darkness, that too is a wound.”  
  
“I don’t know if I can stop,” Flint says and he feels Silver’s arms tighten around him. “I don’t know how. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in love.”

“Then let me show you,” Silver murmurs. “Let me give you the love that I have.”


End file.
